On hedging and kedging

Do I just need a tug in the right direction?

You will want to give up. And you will give up, unless you have a backup plan

“Are you going to write your blog today?” says my spouse Janyce as she walks down the driveway to where I’m sitting on the lawn in a lounge chair, and hands me a glass filled with a cloudy white liquid. I set the hemp-based “mocktail” down on the metal table beside me. Today is Monday, the actual July 4th holiday, and it’s relatively quiet in our suburban town, even though less than half a mile away, the carnival is cranking out the last dizzy spins of the tilt-a-whirl and people are lining up to take that final slow ride on the ferris wheel. Every few minutes, I catch a refrain from the band— the sound of drums and voices wafting over to me on a breeze.

“I was thinking about it, but I don’t know,” I say, while taking a sip of the slightly bitter drink.

I couldn’t manage my normal Saturday writing schedule this week, and then Sunday was too packed with events as well. And today we just wanted part of a day to do our separate things. That meant that Janyce spent the past few hours of the sunny afternoon on her motorcycle while I lazed around the yard reading.

Somewhere in the middle of this new book I picked up called, Younger Next Year, one of the authors described the idea of kedging as a metaphor for saving your own life. (the book is written by two older white men, and it’s already getting to be an old book, but that’s another whole tangent) Kedging, I found out, is a ship sailing term to describe the act of using a light anchor and a smaller boat to pull the larger boat,(about to be overrun with pirates) to safety.

Or to put it another way, the author says: “ kedging is climbing out of the ordinary, setting a desperate goal and working like crazy to get there.” It’s this idea that despite whatever plan you have for your normal day-to-day life to stay healthy and vibrant, you’re going to get bored, or led astray, and lose momentum. You will want to give up. And you will give up, unless you have a backup plan—a kedge—that you can use to set you right again. It could be something like a retreat, or a road race you have to gradually work up to, or a new piece of equipment—like a state of the art bicycle maybe, something that can get you excited enough to get back in the game. It doesn’t even have to be that grand. I bought myself some new workout gear and I admit I felt a little more energized to take the next class in the gym.

“My drink is gone,” I say. “And I still feel the ‘Sunday nervies’ setting in.”

After several days of holiday eating and drinking, we both looked at each other in the kitchen and agreed to fake our cocktail with the nonalcoholic spirit. But now it’s losing it’s healthy appeal fast, just like the end of our four-day weekend.

“Yeah, not quite the late-day buzz you were hoping for, huh?” says Janyce.

“Not at all,” I say. “You want to finish the salad greens and have a cauliflower crust pizza?”

“Let’s do it,” she says.

I kind of like this kedge idea and I’m in the business these days of finding as many tips and tricks as possible. I’m determined to right the ship, as it has been sailing off course for the past few years.

Over the weekend, a friend invited us over to swim in the pool and have dinner and drinks. While my friend and I were wrapped in towels, leaning back into the overstuffed lounge chairs in the sun and chatting, she said to me, “ you know, I have been thinking about this stage of life all wrong. I thought it was about finding a job, but really what I need to focus on is my purpose.” We agreed to take a walk this week and talk it through some more. She’s on to something.

In another book I started reading on Friday, the author talks about an idea he calls life layering. It’s this tactic of keeping whatever you have going on, for instance, keeping your job as it is, but you add something you’ve always wanted to do. I see this strategy as a way to crowd out the time you are probably wasting scrolling on your phone and fill your life with more of the stuff that brings you real joy. It’s similar to the nutrition tip to add more vegetables to your diet. Add on first, don’t take anything away, with the goal of giving your body more of what it needs and crowding out the foods you want to avoid more.

I like reading about all these strategies and yet, if I’m honest, I’m skeptical about them, too. You might say that I’m willing to read about all of these life and fitness hacks while still reserving the right to think that none of them are really going to work in the long run. But, then again, maybe they will.